Inside Kirstie Allsopp and Ben Andersen’s 21-year love story and surprise wedding
The couple, who share two sons, Bay, 18, and Oscar, 16, tied the knot after 22 years together last week at the historic Grosvenor Chapel in Mayfair.
The venue holds deep sentimental value for Kirstie; it hosted the memorial service for her father, Charles Allsopp, 6th Baron Hindlip, last June. It’s also where her parents and grandparents celebrated their own weddings.
The pair kept the nuptials under wraps, reportedly telling guests they were attending Ben’s 64th birthday party, only to discover they were witnessing a surprise wedding ceremony instead.
The unconventional approach may have raised a few eyebrows, but it perfectly reflects the couple’s unique love story, which began in an equally unexpected way.
Kirstie Allsopp (C) and her sons pictured in 2021
Getty Images
The pair were introduced in 2004 by Ben’s ex-wife, Theresa, at a party for prospective Tory MP Orlando Fraser. Early on, Ben, a self-made property tycoon, told Kirstie he never wanted to marry again but shared his desire to spend their lives together.
Over the years, the Channel 4 star, now 53, and Ben have kept their relationship largely out of the public eye. They’ve rarely been seen together in public, with one of their few shared photos coming from a ski holiday in recent years.
From their unconventional start to their quiet but enduring love, here’s a look back at their two-decade long relationship.
Before meeting Ben, Kirstie faced her fair share of romantic setbacks, including a moment that left her doubting her own worth in relationships.
Reflecting on a rude comment from a former boyfriend, Kirstie once admitted she believed she wasn’t “girlfriend material.” The remark stuck with her during her twenties, a time when she was laser-focused on the dream of marriage and motherhood.
Speaking candidly to Stylist magazine, Kirstie said: “No one was interested in me in my twenties. I had ‘please marry me’ tattooed on my forehead. It was so vital to me to get married and have children.”
Reflecting on her dating life again, she previously told the Mirror: “One chap said, ‘Kirstie, you will make someone a fantastic wife but you are not girlfriend material.’ I kept going for good-looking s***s.”
However, she wasn’t about to let bad luck in love hold her back from starting a family. Speaking to Woman magazine in 2014, she revealed she had a plan in place to go it alone: “I had a date in mind that I was going to try for a baby and had lined up a couple of people who I’d asked if I could have their child, and they’d said yes.”
Their unexpected meet-cute
In 2004, Kirstie’s luck in love took a turn when she crossed paths with Ben at a party hosted for prospective Tory MP Orlando Fraser. The introduction came through an unexpected connection—Ben’s ex-wife, Theresa, who also happened to be Kirstie’s former school friend from Bedales. At the time, Ben and Theresa had been separated for five months.
Kirstie addressed speculation about their relationship in a 2012 interview with The Standard, firmly dismissing any suggestion that she had “stolen” Ben from her old friend.
“I did not [steal him],” she clarified. “I met Ben at a party for a prospective Tory MP friend of mine, Orlando Fraser. Ben’s wife, whom I knew at school and whom he was already separated from, introduced us.”
Speaking to the Mail at the time, Ben’s ex-wife Theresa, with whom he shares two sons, said: “I love Ben very much and I am terrifically sad that our marriage is over.”
His refusal to marry again
Early into their relationship, Ben made it clear to Kirstie that marriage wasn’t in his plans after the end of his first marriage. Despite his reservations about walking down the aisle again, he told her he did want to have children with her.
Reflecting on this in an interview with The Standard, Kirstie shared her own thoughts on marriage, admitting she never imagined having children outside of wedlock.
She explained: “Ben has been married before and so I don’t think he’s in a hurry to do it again. Our child is our commitment to each other.”
Kirstie has always taken a relaxed approach to their relationship and previously told Woman magazine: “I’ve always said the same thing: there is every likelihood that one day we’ll get married, if only for practical reasons. But we’re very happy as we are.”
Then in a 2020 article for MailOnline, Kirstie further explained why she hasn’t felt the need for a wedding, sharing: “I have no problem being a middle-aged girlfriend with an even older middle-aged boyfriend.
“And I have learnt from the very best, as we live next door to the most famous happily unmarried couple—Richard Curtis and Emma Freud. Richard even jokes that he had to make the film Four Weddings and a Funeral to explain to his mother why he has never married.”
For Kirstie, the lack of wedding bells has its perks, too. “I don’t want the attention of being a bride,” she confessed. “I’m not a fan of the staggering, never-ending self-absorption of ‘my big day’. Have you noticed how rarely you hear ‘our big day’?”
Finally walking down the aisle
Despite Ben’s previous insistence that he would never marry again, it seems he had a change of heart. For her wedding, Kirstie stunned in a gold sequin and tulle Oscar de la Renta gown, a custom piece she’d bought just two weeks prior.
The intimate 40-minute ceremony featured a beautiful selection of music, including The Beatles’ iconic All You Need Is Love, famously featured in Love Actually.
Kirstie shared with The Mail on Sunday that the entire wedding was kept so under wraps and arranged at the last minute that several key guests—such as her long-time co-host Phil Spencer—were unable to attend.
The couple’s sons, along with Ben’s sons from a previous relationship, Hal and Orion, served as ushers. Those present at the celebration included Kirstie’s sisters Sofie Fletcher and Natasha Morley, designer India Hicks, and her cousin Jamie Allsopp, a former hedge fund boss.
After learning that paparazzi were waiting outside the chapel, Kirstie took matters into her own hands and shared official photos of the day, captured by renowned photographer Catherine Bradley to her Instagram.
She penned: “It’s a huge privilege listening to your son give a speech at your wedding, which is one reason Ben & I are looking so cheery in this picture taken by @catherinebradleyphotography.
“I share a great deal on here and so appreciate all the kind & interesting comments, but I felt our wedding should be private, and luckily on the day it was. Unfortunately it turned out that there was an unseen pap, so I have released a couple of our own pictures.
“The upside is that at least I get a chance to thank publicly some of the lovely people who worked so hard, at such short notice, to make our wedding pretty special.” She went on to thank a host of people who helped to make her dream day come true at short notice, including the dress makers who added sleeves to her gown after she bought it in the sale two weeks before.
Concluding: “To marry in the same church that my parents and grandparents married was always my hope and luckily I already know that we did live happily ever after.”
